Thursday, February 14, 2013

Chug chug chugging along

Dearest readers, I am snatching a moment from the drudgery that is caring for two tiny tyrants to write a quick blog post.  Life is pretty okay.  Caring for two babies at one time is difficult, as I'm sure you can probably imagine.  Sometimes it looks like this:

Only to look like this a moment later:

I think the hardest part is not being able to really hold and comfort both at once (or at least not very well...I only have two arms.  It drives me to tears once in a while, it's that or laughing hysterically).  Sometimes the bouncy chair just doesn't cut it.  Poor little screamers.

I also have to admit that the only thing that makes parenting possible for me right now is this:

Unfortunately, my french press doesn't come with a smiling male nanny with a great tie.  Oh! To be independently wealthy!  

So I've had very little sleep the last two months.  I wish I were one of those people who can function on just a few broken up hours, but I have to be honest and say that the lack of sleep is the absolute hardest part for me.  I need sleep like I need water.  The Shop Monkey came up with an anagram for twins:  Two Wailing Infants, No Sleep.  And it's totally accurate.  Sometimes they sleep at night, sometimes they wail.  If only they would coordinate and do either at the same time.  It would make our life a lot easier.

I took on a single project for the month of February.  But I'm actually really eager to get back to work for real.  I love my little squirming squids, but escaping out to the studio is so fabulous, I'll be honest.  It really does feel like an escape.  It's quiet and all my own.  There are no bouncy chairs or burp cloths anywhere to be seen.  Does that make me a bad mama?  I'm torn though, about hiring a nanny.  As much as I need some help (and obviously, I will need someone here while I'm working), I don't want to  give my babies over to someone else!  I need to get over that, because I have to work.  Not only for the income, but for my own sanity.  I only plan on working 20-25 hours a week, but I know I need something beyond caring for my children to maintain my mental health.  My hat is off to all of those SAHMs out there.

Well, my sleep deprived delirium is probably causing me to overshare, so I will wrap things up.  I have a few new things spinning around in my mind, I'm super excited to get a chance to carve them.  I want to do a chunky semi-eternity ring, maybe with some texture on the settings and something with squared or arrow shapes.  So much time, so little to do! Strike that, reverse it.


barbara said...

I know it's not quite the same as only 1 baby and it's been 15 years since my baby was a baby, but I remember feeling exactly like you do now. No, it doesn't make you a bad Mama, it makes you human and a very creative, talented human (I have a beautiful ring to prove that!).
Sleep deprivation and post-birth hormones are a rough combo.
Great pics!

SariiCollins said...

I love this post. I think every mom understands about crying or laughing hysterically...more like hysterically crying than laughing. Coffee is an absolute lifesaver. Studies show a 20% decrease in depression in women that drink it. I wish I could drink it all day long. It truly does get better after 3 months! Love the pictures of the squids, especially the one of the screaming beasts! Love them and their beautiful Mama! XOXO

Karuna said...

The sleep deprivation is the HARDEST part. With one baby I found it to be hardest the first three months...your milage may vary. Your boys are beautiful. Screaming babes is HARD. Nannys are worth their weight in gold. I was home for the first 5months and then found myself both eager and reluctant to return to work. This is the story of my motherhood now. I want silence and space and peace and nobody wanting anything from me. I also want her in my arms all the time. Sigh....things you just can't fathom until they are in your arms. Congratulations on surviving the first two months. I promise PROMISE it gets better every month from here til uh, probably teenage. But seriously, Ramona turns 1 in two days and we are having so much fun. Keep up the good work and hang in there.

Karen's loves said...

I have been such a fan of your blog and work for years. I've always secretly hoped my boyfriend would find the way to your blog and shop when the time comes :) many blessings and wishing of sleep being sent your way!!! If I'm ever in the Portland area, I would volunteer to babysit those adorable munchkins. Loves and hugs from Houston, karen :)

Kelly S. said...

Oh how I feel you pain!! Just checking in on your page as you made our engagement/wedding rings about 2 years ago.. Lo and behold you've had twins!! We had our twins, Abram and Violet, in the end of October making them just about 4 months... Rest assured it does get easier.. Or maybe you just get used to it .. I'm not sure!! Those first two months were a blurr.. When they start smiling, cooing etc. things start to feel more reciprocal and gratifying... Sleeping in stretches longer than 2-3 hrs helps too :)